How to Drive without Brakes

Here in India, people don’t really believe in braking. The streets of Bangalore are like the racing video games I would play on Sega Genesis as a kid – my goal was to get through the course as fast as possible. I never quite got good enough to master the skill of braking…I preferred to wipe out. I was convinced it was faster. After all…why would anyone voluntarily slow down? If you hit a tree, scratch the bumper or take out a street lamp in the process…oh well. (Side note: Obviously I was never very good at those games.) In India, braking is more of a philosophy than a key element – it’s an optional strategy…just like the video games. It’s something you do if you want. If it’s not for you, no worries. You see…India doesn’t need brakes. They have something else – they have the horn.

I know what you’re thinking – I have a horn, too! I am sure, however, that you are not using it properly…at least according to Indian standards. Follow these simple principles and you, too, can drive without brakes!

  1. Beep when you accelerate. Don’t just tap it, either. This is a minimum of a three-second beep. This lets others know you’re speeding up.
  2. Beep when you’re slowing down. Again, just lay on the horn instead of pushing on the brakes. People will eventually move out of the way when you get close enough. Best strategy for this is to continually press on the horn until you can speed back up again – and don’t forget to beep to signal acceleration.
  3. Beep your horn any time you approach a cross street. This allows potential traffic ready to pull out onto your road to hear you coming, so they can stay out of your way.
  4. Beep when you want to turn left or right. This allows you to take intersections at full speed – no brakes needed here!
  5. Beep when you’re on a crowded road to let others know you’re n a hurry – they might not realize how precious your time is and how little you enjoy sitting in traffic. To make sure they really get the idea, keep beeping until you can move again.
  6. Beep when you’re driving down a big empty road – you wouldn’t want any dogs, people, other vehicles to think the entire road is empty. Give them fair warning you’re around!
  7. Beep when there are pedestrians walking down the street. Sometimes people aren’t paying attention. You don’t want them to accidentally dart in front of you. Better let them know you’re passing by.

See how easy it is to drive brake-free?

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